Snip Snip

My puppy is at the Humane Society today, getting his cute lil' hairballs snipped off. A word to the wise: when dropping off your pet at the HS, remember that only a small percentage of the people there will have actual 9-5 sort of jobs to hurry to; arrive early. Don't expect other pet owners to handle their nearly-feral rugrats. Oh, and dogs have absolutely no balance in moving taxis.

I found out that Cormac has kneecaps that pop in and out of joint, which explains why a simple misstep can make him whine and limp once in a while. It also means that arthritis is nearly certain in his later years. (With my weird hand, I can only assume joint pain is in my cards as well.) I suppose I'll have to give th' old boy knee massages.

I pick him up at 4:45-ish, and we'll take a hopefully un-eventful taxi ride home. Then i will coo to him and spoil him and agree that nothing quite so terrible has ever happened to a puppy and yes he does deserve another treat, thats the VERY least I can do to counter his suffering. And tonight I will be hit in the nose serveral times, I assure you, as he tries to lick my face over the edge of a plastic funnel-collar. I'm a lucky woman.

Portrait

I always end up drawing myself in profile and optimistic. Maybe that's because I can't draw hands and this way it looks like I'm going for a cameo sort of feel. Hmm.

Why I LAUGHED OUT LOUD in a civilized building and further alienated my co-freelancers

Mulhern made this CD:







The whole thing is pretty hilarious, but this scene in particular is close, close to my heart. I love these performers. Whoever they are. (Mulhern, would it kill you to list each actor in the track list? Jeeze)

(Wife is making a pie for a family gathering, and stressing out in Jadyian fashion about making it perfect for her Mother-in-law)

Husband: you're clenched so tight, you're like a like a white knuckle! how can you be having fun? let's get drunk and screw it up! We'll screw it up anyway...

Wife: oh, wouldn't she just like that.

Husband: do you imagine, in your wildest fantasy, that you will please her?

(pause)

Wife: (weakly)...one day?

Husband (laughing) No!

Wife: What about when we have babies? when we have babies...

Husband: THEY'LL please her. (beat) You won't.

Dante's Infernal Butt

"



"Dante. DANTE. Baby, look at the camera. Baby, c'mon. Look over here, cute fuzzy thing!"

"No. Never. Stop ruining my life, MOM."

"Dante, looooook over here baaaaby."

"Ugh. You wish. I have eyeliner to apply. *turns up My Chemical Romance*"

"Dante, honey..."

"You don't underSTAND me! GAWD!"

"Dante, you turn around or I will post a picture of your pert little butt, on the internet, for everyone ever to see. Everyone."

"I hate you, mom! I'm changing my name to Cinder and piercing my nipples, and there's nothing you can do about it!"

"That's the most sensible thing you've said all day. Get a tattoo, too, I have a tab over at the studio. My treat. Now turn around and pose for this picture!"

"Neeeever!"

I warned him. Enjoy the picture. Feel free to tease him about it, too.

Call me E-shmail

oh. my. heck.

suddenly 3 new comments jumped up on my blog, and i felt superpops for a good 5 minutes. Mmmm, like my puppy, attention is my heart's nectar. Attention and praise, and I'm not ashamed of it, unless it turns out to be a sin, in which case I'll save a few minutes in my last rites to right that sweet sweet wrong. ((saying 'rites to right that sweet sweet wrong' over and over under your breath is a surefire way to alienate coworkers, FYI))

In response, Jess you have nice arms, kendra you is crunk-tastic, and I'm neither messing with an ex nor dating a new fellow.

Actually, i'm hanging out with cute (x?)boyf tomorrow night. I was going to poach a picture of him from one of his friend's blogs, and paste a few cartoon poachers on the pic to display that fact. Then poachers led to whalers, and I found the illustration above.

GOD I am far too unfocused. damn data entry. it scatters my brain with boredom....

FOR the record, although I talk about my pup constantly, the only reason I don't mention Dante, my cat, more is because he don't constantly do puptarded things. Dante is dignified and affectionate, and only gets truly riled when I mention thart one time he got stuck on the fridge as a kitten. (like I'll ever let that die, cat. You were whining redonks much)

Still, Kendra will agree, Dante is pretty adorable. As a kitten he had the roughest tongue on record. You know how a kitten licking your face is supposed to be sweet and gentle? He had a mouth like acid sandpaper. I actually had to stop him from kissing me when he started to leave welts on my chin. Now his tongue is soft....probably because I feed him cream cheese ONLY off my well-callused fingers.

Yeah, I Eat Dairy, Baby

Sigh.

My boss is out of the office today, and left me a few things to work on. I should be done before 5, and I may leave early to make sure UPS gives me my NEW TV today. NEW!!! TV!!!!!!! aherm. The problem is, it seems like the amount of work she gave me could be easily done, like, this morning if I powered through. I'm not going to, since I'm tired and don't want to rush....but I'm also hoping that SHE thinks that I work FAST, and also that she gave me ever so much work and will be impressed when i finish it alllllll today.

Ok. running out for a few minutes to send in the rebate on my new phone (it's so cute, you would not believe). One day I will write on the matter of rebates, but it would just get me all riled up and furious, so I'll save it for a non-friday.

MMM. Whipped cream.

I'm The Tiger-Thing in This Picture:

This morning, half-dreaming:

picks up my new phone, read the time ( 7:55) and the phone itself sends me a text message: "You're going to be late. Way to sleep in. Nice going, jerk."

I jumped up. Clock next to bed reads 7:06

Me: Brain! why would you scare me like that? Why? I have a good ten minutes left to sleep...

Cormac: Maaaaaahhhhm! I want to go for a walk! For a WAAAALK! It's been like two decades, maaaaahhhhmmm!

Dante: Maaaaawwwwwmm! I want food, wet food, not dry food, ewwwwmmmmrowl!

Cormac: And i want water and huuuugs!

Dante: Me TOOOO but scratches not hugs but waaaater tooooo!!!!!

Both: MAAAHHHHRRRRMMMM!!!!

Phone: *alarm* BEEEEEEEEP!

Clock: BEEEEEP ALSO!!

Me: Good lord, i am THE ONLY SANE ONE in this house!!!

That Face

First Champagne-free picture of me in 2008. Sorry about the hair.




According to my sister, I make the same face every time I try on new clothing. Yu're making that face again, she says, that FAAAACE. The not smiling but still want to look good face.

Come on, Robyn. I'm an english major. I paid 120 thousand dollars to perfect THAT face.

Noir

Dec 30th, 9:45 pm

Meeting Shmecca, Noir and LisaS for drinks to celebrate LisaS's birthday. I manage to capture Noir at his moodiest.

Me: Yay! The smoke makes you look mysterious.

Shmecca: Let me see...ooh, I love that.

Me: This one is going online.

Noir: What? No, no pictures on any blog. No.

Me: Have you ever even read my blog? Do you even know the address?

Noir: No, I...

Me: Great. So it shouldn't be a problem.


Later in the evening,

Noir: Can I see the camera again?

I hid it in my purse until he left. Sorry, Noir. We all agreed you looked very handsome.