Monday, February 11, 2008

I am Ready for Jelly...Please?







I've had a crush on this company for years, and finally have my feet on the ground enough to try and ask it out (read: Bookstore Wage-whore is not the last thing on my resume). As any modern lady will know, nothing helps you get a date more than a date to begin with. You're approved merchandise. No worries that you're asking out the only company that you think would hire you. This metaphor is getting a bit...terrible...but you see my point.







Dear Ms. LadyIemailed:

Perhaps you are seeking an addition to your *ellyvision team. A new person can provide innovative approaches, new viewpoints on projects, and contribute to the dynamics of the company. I am hungry for a job that is challenging and demands my best performance, allows me to collaborate creatively, and fosters the desire to gain knowledge/experience in all steps of production.

Presently, I am working at *Publisher* as an image coordinator, ordering photographs and illustrations and tracking progress on publishing projects (I'd go into more detail, but I'm not allowed to delve into specifics). I've been working in a freelance capacity, and have gotten a number of compliments on my productivity and energy.

Enclosed is my resume for your review and consideration. *ellyvision has a reputation as a fantastic company and an office environment brimming with talent, humor and creativity. I would like to use my passion and energy to contribute to your products. I have several references available upon request, and I can provide you with additional materials to show I can benefit your company. If you prefer, you may reach me in the evenings at (###)-###-####, at this email, or myemailwhichImnotpullingontheblogforfearofvillans@hotmail.com.

Thank you for your time. I look forward to meeting you.

Sincerely,

Jessica (Jady) Brooks






Also, I didn't once mention how cute my puppy is (in the cover letter). I hope they can read between the lines on that one; I really meant to say "I'm a great employee...and my puppy is a snugglebunny, so I've got that going for me, right?"

5 comments:

Kendragon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kendragon said...

What if the villains already KNOW your email.

(tettering laughter building gradually into...) MA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!



And...ya know...good luck.

Proxy said...

eff. I so want to know what deleted comment said.

Now it's going to drive me crazy.

Kendragon said...

Ummm...it may or may not have been me correcting a spelling error.

Maybe.

J said...

ok, so no stalking involved? Because I want a stalker with impeccable first-time spelling.