In the Hood

Watching Leprechaun 5 (Leprechaun in the Hood), distressing sparkly jeans for a great halloween costume, with a cute boyf on his way home. Dare life be awesomer?


Ice-T: (as a mean pimp in L5:LitH) I hope you had sex last night, because I'm going to come over there and cut off your dick!


I LOVE halloween movies.

Flu-thulu

I've been holed up in the apartment for the last 3 days, coughing up green and yellow slugs. My body aches, I have no job, I'm not doing a show, my mom wants me to get a job, oh yes she does, and I've felt much, MUCH prettier.

So, basically, I'm writing a post because boyf's off at his Pub Quiz and I'm too sore to sleep. Instead, I'm running a bath with Epsom salts, sewing a few stuffed animals, and watching House so I feel guilty about not saving lives.

TV makes me feel guilty.

*sigh*

Not that I'd fly to Africa and treat TB sufferers, not on my paycheck, but Damn, Cuddy looks good for a doctor. Doctors don't normally look that good. Hell, actresses that age don't normally look that good.

I'm taking a bath for Boyf, mostly. He shouldn't have to suffer just because I'm too tired to wash up.



edited to add: David was moved from the hospital to a rehab center, where he works out for 3 hours a day, and has all sorts of bars and rails and nurse-types to help him move around. I imagine all the employees are dressed in tuxedos, and everything is beautifully choreographed. Mostly because I'm inclined to think of life in musical seqauences, and a lil' bit because I hate thinking about my mom's husband in pain.

Robert the Old

It's my sister's senior weekend in two days, and I'm a little shocked to realize she's...um...grown up.

The picture above, at Robyn's high school graduation, astounds me. It was during the Weeks of Crazy, June 3-June 15, 2005.

June 3rd-Mom's Birthday/Ashley dies
June 5th-Ashley's viewing
June 6th-Robyn's Graduation
June 7th-Ashley's Memorial
June 9-11-Joel's Wedding (our cousin and my god-brother)
June 15th-Robyn's Birthday

I could write a book about THAT debacle/celebration/mourning/festival of fucking madness...in fact, I am. Still, I managed to smile at my baby sister's graduation, and that's something.

So now, nearing on 4 years later, she's nearly done with college, and I'm in awe. Robyn has played soccer all four years, she's sustained a GPA I would've killed for, and she's graduating with a degree in MATH. She's also blonde and blue-eyed and gorgeous.

I guess what I'm saying is, I deserve a lot of praise. For not hating her awesome guts.

Yeesh

My stepdad, shown here in nerdly professor headshot, got in a biking accident this week. He hit his head, so he doesn't quite remember what happened, but his shoulder, ribs, pelvis and kevlar helmet are all broken. Damn. He had surgery today, Mom's been spending nights at the hospital.

I can only imagine how scary this would be as a wife; it's pretty unsettling from 5 states away. Spraining my ankle was an ordeal, mind you, and I've never broken a bone in my body.*

Mom won't let me fly out and David can probably find helpful, numbing drugs on his own, so I'm doing the only thing I can. Signing up for a month of unlimited bikram yoga classes and attempting to get at LEAST as athletic and bad-ass as David.






*yes, I'm aware that's a stupidly fate-challenging thing to say. I'll be wary.

Illin'

I had just sipped down some Theraflu when my temp agency called, and now I'm sitting at a desk, answering about 10 calls in the span of two hours, and sweating into my nice new outfit. Damn you, Needformoney, Damn you to hell.

I got my security deposit back from my former slumlord this weekend. This whole economy this is just *crampin* my job-style, and I needed the cash. Also, I never have to talk to that awful man ever again. Boyf has been dealing with the new landlord and handling it with greater manners and poise than I could muster. For example:

Boyf said: Hello, I'd like to remind you again that we're still waiting for repairs on the apartment. Give me a call as soon as possible, please.

I would say: Where the hell are you? It's been three weeks, three WEEKS since our dining room ceiling leaked and came a-tumblin' down onto our tv and an irreplacable work of art. Listen, fucker, you better be immobile or contagious with something VILE, or you should have been here, and I will make you regret it.



Boyf said: We've had to make some repairs and re-painted the majority of the apartment, and as per our agreement to have the move-in fee waived, Jady and I will be needing our checks returned before paying this month's rent.

I would say: I don't know what heathen creatures you rented this place to before us, but the walls and windows were absolutely disgusting. You haven't even bothered to provide touch-up paint for correcting the mistakes you made, nor clean prior to our move in...there's still cobwebs in some corners, for gods sake. I'm baffled by your incompetence and wish to remove your spleen.


Boyf said: Thanks, and we'll be in touch soon.

I would say: Get your ass into action, do these repairs, and make it quick. You have no idea the sheer violence and terror of which I am able to wreak upon you. Also you are stupid and fat.

Interview

Here are the rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you 5 questions of a very personal nature.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them 5 questions.

My Questions, courtesy of Jesse Parent:


1. You're only allowed to do one of these. Pick one and explain why: 1) Act in a play 2) improvise 3) work on a novel.

The sad this is, I could be trying to do all three. If I had the time and financial support, I would work on any four novels I've had in the oven for months. The Memoir, the Fairy Tale, the Thriller and the Graphic Novel, not to mention the Fable. I've been doing nothing, NOTHING of creative note beyond making the apartment look cute, and it ires me. *sigh* way to bring me down, Jess, way to ruin the weekend...

2. If you were going to have twins, would you want 2 boys, 2 girls, or 1 of each?

Damn...I'd like to say one of each, but I've been waiting for daughters for so, so long. On the other hand, two boys would be hilarious in comedic stylings...and one each would mean they could solve crime...

3. If you had to live in any other city, besides Chicago, where would it be and why?

I've considered that for a while, actually, and I'd love to live in Portland, Oregon. It's a nice easy drive down to Salt Lake City, which would be a welcome change from never coming home to visit; it's green and lush and publishing-friendly, improv-ful and a lovely place to live.

4. If you traveled back in time and had to babysit yourself at 9 years old, what do you think would be the most challenging?

I actually have no idea how i was at 9, since I can't remember that time in my life...and apparently neither can anyone else in the family. I assume the most difficult thing would be finding a way to entertain 3 girls including a future med-school-rockstar and string-theory-nerd. We were troublesome, I've heard.

5. Describe your ideal job. Not like "empress of the world", but a real job.

writing, obviously.

In the short term? Working as an editor for a solid publishing company, and having enough money and time to volunteer as much as I'd like. In theory, I'd like to work as a counceler or animal-rights-type, but I would cry far FAR too much and take everything very personally...

Palin Failin'

"Positively affect the impacts"



Boyf: "I feel like I'm losing focus, and not paying attention, but then I realize she's just not making any sense. The language center of my brain can't comprehend what she's...layin' down."
Me: "But seriously, she has a retarded baby."