Mellow Yellow

The Children's Crusade (a brief explanation):

"A boy began preaching in either France or Germany claiming that he had been visited by Jesus and told to lead a Crusade to peacefully convert Muslims to Christianity. Through a series of supposed portents and miracles he gained a considerable following, including possibly as many as 20,000 children. He led his followers southwards towards the Mediterranean Sea, where it is said he believed that the sea would part when he arrived, so that he and his followers could march to Jerusalem, but this did not happen. Two merchants gave passage on boats to as many of the children as would fit. The children were either taken to Tunisia and sold into slavery, or died in a shipwreck on San Pietro Island (off Sardinia) during a gale. "



Lessons learned?

1. Never have stupid children, particularly if you live in Europe.

2. Gales are jerks.

3. Peaceful conversion and matching masses never result in goodness.




also something funny to think about when I'm ovulating. Ah, humans. foolish, foolish humans.

Sleepy Blue

Depression is an annoying disease. Other people get crazy-powers such as loving themselves forever no matter what! Or having a fun imaginary friend! Or being supergood at math!

I get to be tired TIRED tired constantly. Bah.

Off to sleep for another ten damn hours.

I'm taking a break from *ahem* NOT writing to work on my latest, a story tentatively titled 'Kept'. Consider it a response to The Collector although I have no idea how it ends.

I may watch my huge block of J-pop horror movies this afternoon...but sick as this girl is, I probably won't write about any of the major j-topics...incest, castration, torture (well, not in graphic detail, I tend to believe that less is more in terms of unsettling the reader), mass suicide on a train platform, etc.

*sigh* How the hell will I ever convince my kids that scary movies aren't worth sneaking into? They so, so are.

Ahem, boys?

The evidence is really stacking up, secret LOVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wishbone Vs. Backbone

Time and I have never gotten along. My memory is spotty, I have no internal clock, I can worry myself into such a frenzy that 5 minutes stretch on for hours.

Dr.G explained that I have a habit (extrordinary talent, more like!!! GO TEAM CRAZY!!!) of fixating on details SO SOOOO much that something inconsequential becomes hugely important:

That guy who sneered at me on the train platform? Ohmygod, he must know I'm having trouble finding a job because I look unhireable and also I'm fat and stupid and my shirt looks ugly and now he's thinking that even if I cleaned up my best looking look wouldn't even be good enough because the best me ever is still a terrible terrible person ohgodwhy but he's totally right and if he can see that so can everyone else all my friends are faking it because they feel too bad to call me out and tell me just how horrible I am what am I saying they don't care about hurting my feelings they just don't even have the effort to give me a hint because they don't really care what i do etc.

seriously.

It's fun inside here, in Jady-Brain. Whee.

So I'm trying very hard to assume that I'm not the worst person ever...nor the least important, nor any other title. In fact, it'd be best to just bust my booty finding a new job, and not consider how people view me at all. My good friends/family is being very helpful when I have an outburst of worry, in their own awesome ways.

Padraic is helping in the only way he knows how:



And I'm not going to judge myself for giggling at this very picture for, like, 20 minutes.