Illin'

I had just sipped down some Theraflu when my temp agency called, and now I'm sitting at a desk, answering about 10 calls in the span of two hours, and sweating into my nice new outfit. Damn you, Needformoney, Damn you to hell.

I got my security deposit back from my former slumlord this weekend. This whole economy this is just *crampin* my job-style, and I needed the cash. Also, I never have to talk to that awful man ever again. Boyf has been dealing with the new landlord and handling it with greater manners and poise than I could muster. For example:

Boyf said: Hello, I'd like to remind you again that we're still waiting for repairs on the apartment. Give me a call as soon as possible, please.

I would say: Where the hell are you? It's been three weeks, three WEEKS since our dining room ceiling leaked and came a-tumblin' down onto our tv and an irreplacable work of art. Listen, fucker, you better be immobile or contagious with something VILE, or you should have been here, and I will make you regret it.



Boyf said: We've had to make some repairs and re-painted the majority of the apartment, and as per our agreement to have the move-in fee waived, Jady and I will be needing our checks returned before paying this month's rent.

I would say: I don't know what heathen creatures you rented this place to before us, but the walls and windows were absolutely disgusting. You haven't even bothered to provide touch-up paint for correcting the mistakes you made, nor clean prior to our move in...there's still cobwebs in some corners, for gods sake. I'm baffled by your incompetence and wish to remove your spleen.


Boyf said: Thanks, and we'll be in touch soon.

I would say: Get your ass into action, do these repairs, and make it quick. You have no idea the sheer violence and terror of which I am able to wreak upon you. Also you are stupid and fat.