Lots of free time

100 Posts!!!

OhMyHeck guys SERIOUSLY!!!!!!

feel free to buy me a drink or send all the gifts you want!!!

I have ansense of humor.

Scanner + Boredom = Comedy GOLD

Poorly hiding my amusement as a couple have a loud, shallow, pointless fight on the bus

I Laughed out Loud, But Still...

Boyf, sending me a text to let me know the oven was installed and working:

Stove is gassy and super hot, so you two will have lots to talk about.

*sigh*


What a jerk.

Let's Get This in the Open

Yeah...

I'm very uncomfortable with how beautiful my little sister has become.







No I will NOT introduce you to her. Scram, buddy.

2004

When I read my old blog--and believe me, it takes a lot of boredom to resort to THAT-- it's hard to imagine being quite as unhappy and without boundaries as I was.

That is to say...I wrote about things then that I'd never mention now, and I CLEARLY fixated much more. I credit this growth entirely to my family and friends' support.

It's not often that I find a quote I'd want to repeat word for word...and it's even rarer that I take the time to mention how happy I am.

Hear that, Ashley, mom, family, friends? I'm really fucking happy.



September 2004:

"I love you all, you freaks, you braniacs, you snobs, you show-tune namers, you former Elpers, you improvisors, you showoffs, you wonderful wonderful WONDERFUL people."

To. Do.

Let's see...

Buy litterbox, watering fountain, baggies for the pets
unpack all bags, boxes, and hollow objects used to transport stuff
put bike in downstairs storage
receive deliver of TV stand and dresser drawers
assemble stand, dresser, and living room lamp
unpack new appliances, dishes, sheets, blankets, towels and pictures
hang shower curtain with liner
paint dining room, living room (and hall), bedroom 1 and 2, kitchen walls and bathroom tiles
laundry: wash, dry, fold, put away
connect cable
connect stove to gas line
stock up on groceries
move pet food to Tupperware, place cat food in location out of reach of dog.
paint window trim on rooms
sew and hang curtains
buy desk, dining table and chairs
set up wireless Internet
send baby blanket
take care of dog and cat
take pills
hang pictures
write story treatment for publisher
rehearsal and filming of web-com pilot
save up money for pad's xmas gift, which will be pretty schweet
get deposit from old apartment, buy xmas gifts THEN instead of in December when I'm freezing and less rich
change address at post office, bank, netflix, etc.




So...no. No, casual acquaintance; Despite how many emails you mass-mail me, I do not want to watch you crappy improv show.

Baby 2: Clarification-ed!

Warning: This is a girl, girl post. Don't read ahead unless you're comforatable knowing just how much of a Girl I am.



The eggs pouring out of my ovaries are plugging up my veins and hindering bloodflow to my brain, so all i can think about are BABIES and I want to clear a few things up:

1) How the hell do people know their exact conception date? if I'm planning on getting pregnant, we better be having sex pretty damn often, y'all. It's called statistics. Look it up.

2) I get to hold my tummy and caress it lovingly the MOMENT that strip turns blue.

3) people need to come up with a less repugnant name for 'mucus'.

4)Ohmygod I do not want to ever hear your name suggestions, birthing suggestions, or lotion recomendations. You are not allowed to touch my belly just because it's huge. In fact, you best keep comments to yourself unless I go into labor on the bus and ask you for advice, bee-otch. This is MY baby and tummy. go ruin your own.

5) I think I already eat enough for two.

Oh, Baby

(Clearly i WILL look this cute when pregnant.)

Apart from a few cousins, and a few friends in different states, I've been yet able to avoid Pregnancy. Friver has had two kids already, yes, but this is the first time since our friendship began. I've been thinking on the topic much more than expected.

The entire process is just strange, people. I would make so much more sense to me if people laid eggs. In fact, i can't think of (and refuse to try) a single thing better for humanity than gaining the ability to lay eggs.

People could sign them. Like casts. With cute markers or pens. That's just ONE of the many benefits.





More thoughts later. By the way, moving? Never Again.